I can’t remember which Christmas I got it, but I got an MP3 player. No longer would I have to burn MP3 CD’s for my discman that accepted MP3 CD’s. I could now just load everything into this MP3 player my dad got… somewhere. I can’t remember the brand. It did have a little screen so I could see what was being played at least. Screw your iPod. Never had one. Apple sucks.

Fumbling Towards Forty: Prologue
Fumbling Towards Forty: The Internet
Fumbling Towards Forty: Camping
Fumbling Towards Forty: Drugs
Fumbling Towards Forty: Videogames
Fumbling Towards Forty: Music Part I
Fumbling Towards Forty: Music Part II

2011 I was living away from Windsor but I still tried to make it back to Windsor every chance I got. My move to Kingston didn’t go very well. I moved to Hamilton for a few months. Then I moved to my hometown of Chatham to take care of my mom. Which felt like failure.

Aside from my obsession to Innerpartysystem (who have a good song called Obession) I remember that those days were one of not really knowing what to do with myself. I think the music reflected that as well. I know at one point I was very much obsessed with Changes by Stars.

Oh, also a Windsor rapper named Kyle Spratt threatened to kick my ass. Totally forgot about that.

The Naked and Famous

I think 2011 was when I really started opening myself up to indie music and it’s also when I got to discover my next favourite band. Remember how I said Innerpartysystem broke up in 2011? Well when they did, around that same time was when I discovered The Naked and Famous.

I’m sure the first song I heard was “Young Blood” like for most people, but I remember getting the album and loving… everything. Absolutely everything. Passive Me, Aggressive You became a 49 minute bible for me. Alisa and Thom spoke to me in ways no other lyrical duo has really spoken to me prior or since. I mean, I spent a large part of my life at that point knowing Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails lyrics back and forth but too often the depression and sadness and heroin addiction he spoke about really didn’t resonate with me. It was cool but distance.

The Naked and Famous talked about a breakdown in a relationship in a way I didn’t just relate to. It was finally words spoken I always wanted to say and wasn’t talented enough to say it. It was speaking to the sore in your throat when you really love someone and you know it just wasn’t going to work. Or when you love someone and don’t know how to explain it.

“The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-betweens
Fall back in love eventually
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”

My blood might not be young anymore, but that’s my anthem. That’s my fucking anthem. Forever.

A few years later I would see The Naked and Famous in concert. This would be November 8, 2016. The Danforth Music Hall in Toronto. Every American knows why that date is important. For everyone else that was the U.S. Election that Donald Trump won the election. Here I was seeing one of my favourite bands ever (and Chain Gang of 1976 who I also loved! They did a cover of “What We Want” that is now impossible to find online but I do still have an MP3 of it and it’s one of my favourite covers ever?) but I was seeing them on a day where so many people cared about only one thing. At the time I called it the second best concert I ever attended. Thinking back? It was honestly the best. It was better than Nine Inch Nails with Queens of the Stone Age back in 2005. TNAF playing “The Runners” was like a religious experience for me. That song meant so much to me in 2016 and it still means a lot today.

At one point in the concert the band realized everyone was looking at their phones, stopped playing, and addressed the election. Basically a, “Hey guys, we know, shit is crazy, but please let’s just get through the show” that’s how wild it was. I wasn’t the only person who felt like that night was life altering.

Indie/Rock Playlist

It was around 2012 I started getting into the Indie/Rock Playlist.

I was trying my best to avoid the world of music streaming. I hated the idea of paying a monthly service for music I could find anyway. I did try some stuff like Pandora to find new music, but I really didn’t want to lock myself into a monthly service. My saviour for a while was the Indie/Rock Playlist. Every month they release indie rock music to download. I might have had one from prior to 2012 but 2012 is my oldest folder it looks like.

There’s a lot of music I found out specifically because of the Indie/Rock Playlist and I definitely used and some other services (SaG’s Indie Electro Rock was another) to find new music. I would literally go through hundreds of songs just to find one or two I loved and would save. Really no different to what I do now with The Sweatdown.

Some of my favourite songs found from the MP3 playlists include:

– Caves by Founds
– Holes by Great Northern
– The Age That You Start Losing Friends by General Fiasco
– San Francisco by The Mowgli’s
– Dora Maar by Hunter Hunted
– Been There Before by Ghost Beach
– Smother by Daughter
– Side of the Road by Big Black Delta
– Pumping Blood by NONONO
– Tomorrow is Yesterday by Field Mouse
– Sugar by wanderhouse
– Somebody New by Joywave
– Solid Gold by Battle Tapes featuring Party Nails
– Indian Summer by How Sad

Eventually I gave in and got Spotify.

New Retrowave

I think my first foray into New Retrowave started the same way it starts for most people: The Drive soundtrack.

You hear Kavinsky’s Nightcall and your brain just gets completely rescrambled. Suddenly my love of the 80s was replaced by a hunger for modern synthpop. I remember the first time I heard Digital Ghost by Mega Drive I was in. I was 100% in. This New Retrowave thing was for me and I was going to ride it until the brakes fell off. And then I’d ride some more.

At first I was just heavily into the instrumental stuff. Most of the vocals I heard weren’t appealing to me. But then I got really into Trevor Something. The song “Summer Love” might be one of my favourite songs of all time. Easily Top 10, maybe Top 5. I can listen to it any time and never get bored of it. I think I first heard “Fade Away” but my favourite album by him is definitely Soulless Computer Boy and the Eternal Render. “Do It Again” is another all time song for me.

The Midnight, FM-84, The G, Immortal Girlfriend, W O L F C L U B, there’s so many retrowave bands I absolutely love. I even purchased a New Retrowave tanktop. I love it.

The only issue with the New Retrowave genre is it’s really tough to see any of these acts live. They make some really great music, but only a few of them tour. Honestly it might just be The Midnight. Only one I’ve seen.

The Sweatdown

As I said, I eventually gave into Spotify. I eventually got the idea to start my own playlist series. I wasn’t doing a lot of writing at the time and I was struggling with my ADHD medication so I needed something, anything, to do that would be consistent. At least monthly consistent. I’m listening to new music all the time anyway so why don’t I start publicly publishing it? Who cares if only two or three people hear it or see the lists. At least I did it. I did something once a month.

Here’s the first one April Sweatdown 2K18

As you can see? it’s really just a bunch of songs. I think Journal of Ardency was there because I saw the first episode of Barry. Summer Love is there of course. In May it would start looking more like a playlist of my favourite bands at the time. Trevor Something, Battle Tapes, The Naked and Famous, Dear Rouge (who I saw live), Royal Blood, and Chain Gang of 1974.

The August 2018 I made before taking a trip to New Orleans, Atlanta, Nashville, and Chicago. It was around that time I got into Culture Wars, who released their song Lies. It also ranks high in my favourite songs ever, and I’m glad I finally saw them live in 2024. Another band I saw live finally in 2024 who I loved in 2018 was JPNGIRLS, or that’s what they were called at the time the song “Southern Comforting” came out. They are now Hotel Mira, and they effectively replaced Arkells as my favourite Canadian band after Arkells kinda lost their touch. Sorry guys. You’re still the band I saw live more times than any other band. Even bought a tank top once. No clue where it went.

I have yet to miss a Sweatdown and have no plans to. Do I have a favourite? February Sweatdown 2K21 was real good. July Sweatdown 2K21 was also really good. I did a four hour playlist for June Sweatdown 2K23 for my trip to the west coast.

What have I learned about my playlists? Anything that makes them good or great? Flow is everything. I gotta start with a song I absolutely love and am obsessed with or I don’t listen to it. Then you gotta find songs you also love but sound similar enough that they flow. And then you ride that flow. I put the softer or slower jams at the back. That’s the end of the workout anyway.

I probably should have started with that the reason it’s called THE SWEATDOWN is I made these for working out. Because I waste way too much time at the gym running through my Spotify to find a song to listen to while working out. That’s the point. But it’s also just for dancing. You know. Alone. In your living room.

I’m cool.

The Rest of the Decade

I went to a bunch of concerts in the 2010s. I mentioned The Naked and Famous and Chain Gang of 1974. I saw Dear Rouge. I saw Arkells several times. Mother Mother at least twice. I saw Ben Folds and I can’t remember for the life of me if I went with someone or not. Saw Sloan at The LooP. I saw Blue Rodeo in Toronto. In 2018 I saw Nine Inch Nails at Fox Theater for what I am pretty sure is the last time I will ever see them. I remember they played the second last song and I saw a bunch of people leave the concert and I thought, “Ha idiots” only to not realize those were all Canadians leaving for the final bus of the night. Cost me $50 to cross over in a cab.

I saw somebody at El Club in 2019 near my birthday. I don’t remember who it was. You’ll have to ask my ex. But the last band I saw in 2019 was Madeon. I didn’t think I would like the show. It’s actually one of the first times I felt really… old. But I also didn’t care I felt old. Does that make sense? Like you’re aware but don’t give a shit? Great show.

There’s a point in stopping in 2019. 2020 is when you hit the pandemic and so much changes. How much I went to concerts, how much I wanted to go to concerts, how much I wanted to go out, all of that.

It’s funny writing this because honestly? The 2010s is the best decade for music to me. Honestly I think it was. The amount of bands I absolutely fell in love with from The Naked and Famous to Battle Tapes to July Talk (I barely mentioned July Talk!) to Hotel Mira to Trevor Something to Culture Wars. I got deep into a new genre with New Retrowave. I started the Sweatdown. It was an incredible decade for me music wise. I get why culturally the 70s, 80s, or 90s matter more for people but I absolutely reject when people just write it off for music to suck. I think I fell in love or resonated with more songs in the 2010s than any other decade.

It’s just strange to talk about and look back on. I guess it still feels fresh. I couldn’t believe it when I was thinking back to that TNAF concert back in 2016 and thinking… wow, 2016 wasn’t that long ago was it? It was 8 years ago. In some ways that feels like a century away and others like a year ago.

I guess the decade was too fresh. But this decade is so fresh we’re still in it. It’s the final part. I’ll try to come to some sort of conclusion about this fumbling towards 40. It only makes sense to end in November. I started this with a prologue about my Babcia. I lost her in November of 2023 after seeing The 1975 in London.

I’ll say it again. The 2010s were the best decade of music for me. I’m not ashamed to say that.

Part IV: Pandemic to Today

Photo by Holly Lengyel, photo from Windsor Beer Exchange December 2017 band playing Junior