OH GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT STARTED ON SATURDAY!? THE SEASON JUST ENDED!? IT’S LIKE EASTER WEEKEND WHY IS SO MUCH STUFF HAPPENING? WHAT HAPPENED TO JESUS? I PLAYED JESUS IN A GRADE 8 PLAY ONCE I GOT CRUCIFIED IN EVERYTHING SO REALLY THIS IS AN INSULT TO ME!

Sorry.

Apparently the Winnipeg Jets had a comeback against the St. Louis Blues and the Colorado Avalanche whipped the Dallas Stars. This might seem it’ll taint my playoff predictions. Don’t worry. It will.

Six months ago I wrote the 2024-2025 Likely Wrong NHL Predictions as my way of trying to get back into the thick of the NHL and care about what all the teams were doing. I also did a Midway Through The 2024-2025 Season to see how off I was already. I made predictions. Two of my division winners missed the playoffs.

To be fair I did call it likely wrong, and to also be fair, a lot of the teams I was wrong about everyone was wrong about. So I don’t feel bad about it. I’m going to instead celebrate what I got correct!

For starters: even though I said it would be the 1st place Atlantic team versus Wildcard two team, I was absolutely correct in the Florida Panthers playing the Tampa Bay Lightning in the playoffs! This is all I got correct.

I had Seattle, Nashville, and Vancouver in the west and they all missed the playoffs. I had Boston and New York in the playoffs in the east. Then again, like I said, very few people picked those two to miss.

So let’s take a look at each division!

Western Conference

We will start in the west where two games are going on. Yay!

Pacific Division

I predicted Vancouver winning their division. They were fifth. I predicted the Kings being fifth. They finished second. Calgary was predicted 6th and finished 4th just out of a playoff spot while Seattle finished 7th and I predicted them at 4th and making the playoffs.

That’s a homer one on my part. I thought Seattle would be better this season. I thought Beniers was just having a sophomore slump. This is now two mediocre seasons. Seattle has two incredibly high potential centres in Shane Wright and Matty Beniers and they now have to split top centre time with Chandler Stephenson. I don’t think that’s going to bode well for them.

Calgary surprised me. They finally figured it out it seems after their retool.

Central Division

I had the Jets at fourth but you need to understand I don’t like the Jets. I yapped about them before. I said in the mid-season they could win the President’s Trophy and c’est la vie on that. I still feel that way. They do not impress. Glass tiger.

The Nashville Predators bottoming out nobody really predicted, or very few did. St. Louis going 7 to 5 doesn’t sound like much, but I was definitely wrong on them. The offer sheet signings they did on the Edmonton Oilers were a stroke of genius. I did say they were hard to predict and this was interesting since it was the last years of Thomas and Kyrou not having no trade clauses. Both of them led the Blues in point scoring with 81 and 70 respectively.

I originally predicted the Wild missing but they definitely were good for most of the season. Impressive how they’ve stayed in the mix despite the giant cap holes they’ve dealt with from the buyouts of Suter and Parise. This is the last year of those holes (they shrink from $7.3M to $833K for three more seasons each) which means they go into next summer with major cap space available. They do have Kaprizov and Gustavsson to try to lock up, but they will still have more money to spend on talent.

Good to see you Utah. You may not become Yeti. Pick a fun name. Or stick with HC. Just make sure if you do HC? You take bizarro world Montreal Canadiens jerseys and clip on their CH.

Eastern Conference

At least I’m doing the East before any playoff games are played. Phew!

Metropolitan Division

I got the Rags wrong. So did everyone.

I was also VERY RIGHT ON THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS WOOO I loved their additions and when I said they’d be third that was a home run swing. They ended up doing better than I thought!

I was also very wrong about the Columbus Blue Jackets. They were a very improved team and worked hard to make Johnny Gaudreau proud. They barely missed the playoffs, and I’ve heard people make excuses for them. Listen, I get that the season was hard for friends of Johnny. But they were in a playoff spot for most of the year and collapsed in March. They had a four game stretch in March where they scored only one goal. That’s essentially what cost them the slot. Here’s the thing though. It sucks. It sucks! But Columbus will be better next season. Puckpedia has them at the bottom of the league for cap spent. They will have $41.2 MILLION IN CAP SPACE next season should they wish to spend it.

Kirill Marchenko is one of the most underrated players of this past season and he makes only $3.85 million for the next two seasons. Kent Johnson had 57 points in 68 games, up 41 points from last year. Do you know how much he makes per season in the next two years? $1.8 million. That’s it. If I’m Mitch Marner, I could walk into Columbus, probably make $15 million per season, and it’s fine because they have the room for me on the cap.

I had the Flyers doing better than the bottom of the division, but this is the second time the Flyers have imploded in the final stretch of the season. That one is on me. I did have Pittsburgh in the bottom two, and if I’m Kyle Dubas I blow up that team to bits and do everything humanly possible to tank for Gavin McKenna.

Atlantic Division

From my original predictions:

“Boston will never die no matter much I want them to.”

I have never been so happy to be wrong! I figured this would just be another year of the Boston Bruins being good for no good reason. Nope! Ding dong dead! Down to eighth.

Aside from Boston, I got the next five correct just not in order. Tampa finished 2nd instead of 4th, Florida finished 3rd instead of 1st, and Ottawa/Montreal bumped up to 4th and 5th. I’m actually pretty proud of how close I got this one. It’s the division I follow the closest afterall.

I said Ullmark would carry Ottawa to wildcard contention and Ottawa won the first wildcard.

I absolutely called the Atlantic being a bloodbath, and Montreal essentially squeaked by in it. I said Montreal had a lot of work to do still. I don’t feel any different. This is just a feel good awesome season where the Habs got an incredible amount of health luck and had the rookie of the year come in and change their blueline offence. Also big credit to the Alex Carrier trade (he will essentially replace David Savard who retires at the end of the playoffs) and Emil Heineman (Montreal’s other new rookie who played great on the bottom six and was a glue guy in a lot of wins) as they helped change the teams fortunes. Montreal played great coming out of the 4 Nations.

I was very harsh on the Detroit Red Wings and had them bottoming out. They didn’t bottom out but they did fall apart again. I have heard their fanbase is super bullish on their prospects coming up. Simon Edvinsson couldn’t have come at a better time because their defence is a drizzling mess of old codgers who shouldn’t even be playing in the league anymore.

My Second Half Predictions

Okay, so what did I predict?

1. Montreal will either secure a playoff spot (3rd in Atlantic or one of the two wildcard spots) or finish less than three points out of a playoff spot. I was correct. They got the final wildcard spot.

2. Alex Ovechkin breaks Wayne Gretzky’s regular season goal total this season. Oh you bet I called that.

3. J.T. Miller gets traded to the New York Rangers by the NHL trade deadline. I nailed this one too. I wrote that prediction on January 8. J.T. Miller was traded on January 31. “I think the Canucks target Chytil” bingo. Instead of Schneider they went for pieces like Eric Brannstrom, who managed to play for three different AHL teams in one season. Vancouver also got a guy named Victor Mancini, which sounds like a Mafia boss.

4. Lane Hutson does not win the Calder Trophy. I had Michkov, Celebrini, and Stankoven as well as Dustin Wolf taking up spots. I did not expect Hutson to lead all rookies in scoring. He’s more than likely winning the Calder. Ivan Demidov might win it the next year too. I’m not used to so much going Montreal’s way!

5. Mitch Marner re-signs with the Toronto Maple Leafs before the season is over. I don’t know how true this one ends up being. Marner seems to insist he’s going to the market. You wanna know what’s crazy about this one? I think I changed my mind on it like a week after I wrote it. Or rather, I predicted it but I didn’t really want to see it happen or felt it would happen. I think Mitch is a goner. Leafs need to go deep for him to take a discount. I think he hates, fucking hates the media in Toronto.

NHL Playoffs

So I will break down the first round for each conference and then make some predictions.

Western Conference

President’s Trophy Winning Winnipeg Jets versus Wildcard 2 St. Louis Blues

Jets are frauds. Blues are… overachievers? I guess that’s how I would put it. I know a lot of people are believers in the Winnipeg Jets but I’m sticking to this forever. That said, I think they beat the Blues.

Winnipeg Jets in SIX Games

Divisional Matchup Dallas Stars versus Colorado Avalanche

The Mikko Rantanen drama has been some of the most exciting stuff to happen in the league. His trade to Carolina, not really working out, and Carolina giving up on him and trading him to the Dallas Stars. Rantanen in Dallas feels like an embarrassment in riches for them. How Rantanen does without Nathan MacKinnon depends on who in Dallas he ends up developing chemistry with.

Colorado has changed so much to get back up. They traded for two new goalies, traded Rantanen, got Martin Necas who has been great for them at half the price, got rid of Casey Mittelstadt, added Brock Nelson, Jack Drury, Ryan Lindgren, Charlie Coyle, brought Erik Johnson back, and might also get their captain back!? It feels like Colorado is literally doing everything they can to build the best team possible.

I’ve been bullish on the Dallas Stars in the past. I still think they are a really well put together team. I don’t like their defence though. I also can’t ignore just how much Colorado has done to try to get back to the Stanley Cup. If Dallas wins, it’ll be framed as the revenge of Mikko Rantanen. If Colorado wins, it’ll just Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster come alive. I think the monster comes alive.

Colorado Avalanche in SEVEN Games

Pacific Division Winner Las Vegas Golden Knights versus Wildcard 1 Minnesota Wild

Kirill Kaprizov missed 40 games this season. Had he not? I think he would have won the Hart and Art Ross Trophies. He had 56 points in 41 games when he went down. If he doesn’t win he would have got close. In coming back he had four points in four games. I think he’s ready for this.

Unfortunately for the Wild, they are a close but no cigar team. Vegas is just too much. Jack Eichel is having the best season of his career right now and Tomas Hertl (who I often forget is now a Golden Knight) is finally fitting the club. There was only five wins separating these two clubs but I still feel like the Golden Knights are a different beast.

Hey, maybe Flower in his final playoffs just goes sicko mode and murders the team that stabbed him with a sword? It could happen. Maybe.

Las Vegas Golden Knights in FIVE Games

Divisional Matchup Los Angeles Kings versus Edmonton Oilers

That Kuemper for Dubois trade was pretty perfect for both teams. Kuemper is back to being the starting franchise goalie he was back in Phoenix. Quinton Byfield is finally looking like a top six forward which is perfect timing with Anze Kopitar only having one season left. He probably re-signs but it’s time for Byfield to take that top spot at centre. Good season from Alex Laferriere too.

Edmonton Oilers… I’m not as harsh about them as I am with the Jets and they are certainly capable of getting to the Cup final (I love Draisaitl) but nothing about them really excites me. If Mattias Ekholm, by far their best defenceman, is out? I think they struggle to get out of the first round.

I was originally leaning Oilers but now I think this is Kuemper’s series to win.

Los Angeles Kings in FIVE Games

So based on this I have Winnipeg, Colorado, Vegas, and Los Angeles winning their series. I think that puts Winnipeg versus Colorado and Vegas versus Los Angeles. If that happens? Colorado beats Winnipeg and Vegas beats LA. Colorado versus Vegas? I’ll give it to Colorado to get to the Stanley Cup final.

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division Winner Toronto Maple Leafs versus Wildcard 1 Ottawa Senators

The Toronto Maple Leafs have absolutely improved since past seasons. The defence is better, the goaltending is better, and the coaching has improved immensely. Everything should suggest they get further this year. Nylander was the runner up for the Rocket and I think Marner was in the mix for the Art Ross.

Ottawa is a divisional rival, provincial rival, just getting back to the playoffs with a hot goalie and a young team hoping to change fortunes.

Everything should suggest the Toronto Maple Leafs to win this series and win it convincingly on paper. That’s the problem with paper. The game is played on ice, not paper. That said? I do think Toronto gets to the second round.

Toronto Maple Leafs in SEVEN Games

Divisional Matchup Tampa Bay Lightning versus Florida Panthers

The only series I predicted correctly!

The Battle of Florida is going to be rough and dirty. Essentially, I think the Tampa Bay Lightning have had to retool since their two Stanley Cups, while the Florida Panthers are dealing with the injuries of their most recent. They are also not fiddling with a glass cannon Steven Stamkos and replaced him with an actually contributing winger in Jake Guentzel who had 80 points in 80 games. Hagel was incredible with 90 points. Kucherov led the league in points. My favourite pick up was getting Yanni Gourde back from the Seattle Kraken and him nearly matching his point totals in Seattle (17 in 36 versus 14 in 21.)

The Panthers added Brad Marchand which… you know what this is already long. I got my pick.

Tampa Bay Lightning in SEVEN Games

Eastern Conference Winners Washington Capitals versus Wildcard 2 Montreal Canadiens

The only way you should be worried with this series if you’re a Caps fan is if you get flashbacks to Jaroslav Halak and Mike Cammalleri absolutely destroying you in 2011.

You know, Mike Cammalleri and Tomas Plekanec… same numbers worn as Nick Suzuki and Cole Caufield.

Maybe you should be worried?

As a Canadiens fan, I’ve seen the team essentially run out of gas in the final games of the season. They got lucky Carolina benched a lot of their stars and played essentially an exhibition game team for game 82. The only reason Montreal even went to a shootout against the Blackhawks was due to Ivan Demidov playing his first game of his career and getting a goal and an assist in the first period. The Habs were completely gassed out.

They’ve had incredible health luck this season and it’ll be the final postseason of David Savard. They got a lot to be excited for, a lot of momentum, but this is a house money series. The Canadiens wanted to be in the mix and here they are. They can be swept. They can lose in five to seven. Doesn’t matter. They already had the best season possible. Defied all expectations.

All I want to see is Lane Hutson have a good playoff, Ivan Demidov get opportunities to shine, and Suzuki stay point per game.

Washington Capitals in FIVE Games

Divisional Matchup Carolina Hurricanes versus New Jersey Devils

I do not like Sheldon Keefe.

I like the Carolina Hurricanes.

Sorry I want to get to bed tonight.

Carolina Hurricanes in FIVE Games

Based on this your winners are Toronto, Tampa, Washington, and Carolina. This means the Washington Capitals would play the Carolina Hurricanes and the Toronto Maple Leafs would play the Tampa Bay Lightning. All the divisions go back together. I would have Washington win and Tampa Bay win. That Eastern Conference final between Washington and Tampa would be something fun. I’m going with the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Yes, the rematch of the 2022 Stanley Cup Final. Tampa Bay Lightning versus Colorado Avalanche. Colorado won that four games to two to stop the Lightning from a threepeat. Should this happen? That means the Cup Final has had a team in Tampa for every year of the decade. 2021-2022 Tampa, 2023-2024 Florida, and once again Tampa.

Who wins? I absolutely could see the Colorado Avalanche taking it all. They’d deserve it too. They did so much to change the makeup of their team. Every single hole they could find they plugged. Gabriel Landeskog coming back since that Cup in 2022 to help them win it again? How can you not be romantic about baseb…hockey.

Tampa Bay, on the other hand? They do have Ryan McDonaugh returning and Yanni Gorde returning. That doesn’t compare to Gabe and Erik. They do have one other thing. According to PuckPedia? They are $79 over the cap.

If they win the Stanley Cup? That means people will be furious a team DIDN’T FOLLOW THE RULES and won the Stanley Cup OVER THE CAP and that pisses off the most boring, annoying people in hockey. Sorry Colorado.

Going with Tampa to own the geeks.

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