Guess who’s back?

Back again?

Yes, I will be doing my annual terrible NHL regular season predictions for the benefit of the few who read it! I don’t even go on HFBoards or Reddit or anything to be able to share it. Of course, I don’t go on Reddit to share it because back when I wrote for Last Word on Sports, someone got so angry at me for sharing LWOS articles they got my account shadowbanned.

Read the 2024-2025 Likely Wrong NHL Predictions Here

If you check the opening paragraphs it mentions how my heart wasn’t where it used to be. I think that’s starting to change. I really love the current game and I’m 100% back into the Montreal Canadiens. I might even have to pick a new Western Conference team unless the Seattle Kraken get their shit together. Lane Lambert as your coach? Chandler Stephenson on a long term deal when you have Bernier and Wright? Insanity. Just an insane team. One day.

I said hockey wasn’t a major part of my life anymore but I think that’s starting to change. I’ve found myself engaged in the NHL in a pretty deep way again. I care about the draft. I care about free agency. I even care about what the Toronto Maple Leafs might do with Nick Robertson! Okay not that far.

Again, these predictions mean less than a Dave Meltzer Wrestling Observer star rating, and much like those? They only matter based on how much meaning you give them.

Let’s a go!

Western Conference

Can you believe I had the Vancouver Canucks at number one last year? I really bought into that club being something. I was pretty much good with everything else though. Okay I definitely had Seattle in a playoff spot. Oops. Anyway.

Pacific Division

1. Vegas Golden Knights

2. Edmonton Oilers

3. Los Angeles Kings

4. Calgary Flames

5. Vancouver Canucks

6. Seattle Kraken

7. Anaheim Ducks

8. San Jose Sharks

Mitch Marner will be fantastic for the Golden Knights. Who knows if he can shake the Toronto out of him to become a useful playoff player but I’m sure he’ll be great in Vegas. I saw someone saying he was trading being a GOD in Toronto for being a tourist attraction in Las Vegas and like… okay? You do see how that’s better right? He isn’t a God. He isn’t a Top 10 NHL player even. Better to be a tourist attraction.

Edmonton Oilers will be good in spite of their team. Leon and Connor will once again carry them kicking and screaming to the Western Conference final. We all know it. Everyone’s attention will be on if Connor leaves for free agency, and maybe he does, but I don’t see the NHL ever being entertaining enough for him to actually do it. And if he does? He’ll sign somewhere boring like the Rangers.

The Los Angeles Kings are destined to lose to the Edmonton Oilers in the playoffs forever.

Calgary is an interesting one. They finished fourth last year but missed the playoffs due to the St. Louis Blues having the tiebreaker and Minnesota having one more point. Calgary doesn’t have a bad team. In fact they have a very good team and if Dustin Wolf isn’t a one year wonder they should be right in the mix again.

Vancouver on the other hand, the team I thought would win the division last year? It’s funny because I said last year, “Something about them feels… not solid” and I was right! But I still called them first. So I feel burned. Fifth for you. No playoffs.

My former Seattle Kraken (I don’t love you just like you) will miss the playoffs again and I don’t know what they do about it. How about fire Ron Francis instead of giving him a promotion?

Anaheim has done a lot to get better and if Joel Quenneville is still a great head coach (despite totally turning a blind eye to abuse in his organization) maybe they surprise. They did add a lot of veteran help in Kreider, Trouba, and Granlund. They are extremely deep at centre. They traded Gibson and Zegras, so we’ll have to see how that all goes. How does Cutter Gauthier do as a sophomore? Big questions.

San Jose is back to the bottom but I think the San Jose Sharks are building things right. I bet they will be great in a few years.

Central Division

1. Dallas Stars

2. Colorado Avalanche

3. Winnipeg Jets

4. Minnesota Wild

5. St. Louis Blues

6. Utah Yeti

7. Nashville Predators

8. Chicago Blackhawks

I had the Stars in first last year and felt if they got healthy and got better defence they would go deep. Well, they did stay healthy. And they did go deep. The defence is at least a bit better looking this year? Also they got Mikko Rantanen.

Where did he play for and win a Cup? Ah yes the Colorado Avalanche. Getting captain Gabriel Landeskog back is more important than some realize. The team lives and breathes with him. I think they do quite well with him returning. I don’t know what happens with Martin Necas. Probably traded like they traded Rantanen.

I was a Jets hater last year and I’ll be a Jets hater this year. I was right that Ehlers left in free agency. I said they won’t add anyone because nobody wants to go there. Who did they add? One guy: old ass Jonathan Toews coming out of retirement to play for his hometown team. I’m sure he’ll do fine there. Oh I guess they signed Tanner Pearson as well. Whoopie Doo.

St. Louis is more interesting. They barely got into the playoffs then almost knocked out the Jets. They paid a heavy price to get Logan Mailloux of the Montreal Canadiens in hoping they can do their defensive magic to make him an NHLer. Maybe they do it, maybe they don’t. I think they live and breathe on rookie Jimmy Snuggerud. Bad karma for signing Milan Lucic. No playoffs.

I love the name Yeti. Don’t care for the logo which just feels… inauthentic. I like the idea of a Mammoth with a mountain protruding out of them (is the tusk supposed to be a U for Utah?) but I’m not feeling the team. Maybe they bump the Blues down by one but I’m not high on them yet.

Nashville… did Barry Trotz really try to claim they proved doubters wrong three years in a row? Please. Get in the basement.

Chicago is the only reason Nashville won’t be the dirt worst in their division. That team is still barely an NHL team.

Eastern Conference

Much like my too much confidence in Vancouver I also had too much confidence in New York. I thought I was being a real stinker putting Washington at third and they won the division! I said Boston will never die no matter how much I want it and they died! Hurray! Dreams do come true! Anyway.

Metropolitian Division

1. Carolina Hurricanes

2. Washington Capitals

3. New Jersey Devils

4. Columbus Blue Jackets

5. New York Rangers

6. Philadelphia Flyers

7. New York Islanders

8. Pittsburgh Penguins

Getting Nikolai Ehlers for the Canes should help them quite a bit on the scoring front. Going with K’Andre Miller was a surprising choice for their future but I like the boldness. Their goaltending is still a bit of a question mark, but I think they are the least “prone to a downfall” club in the Metro.

I expect Washington to be strong again for Alex Ovechkin as this could be his last year in the National Hockey League. Might as well go out with a bang. Watch out for the Protas brothers.

I was hard on the Devils and said they wouldn’t win the division. I was right. They finished third. I think the Devils have a very good team but third is the best I’ll go with them.

I was hard on the Columbus Blue Jackets but I’ve absolutely warmed up on them. They almost made the playoffs last season. Monahan has been great for them. Adam Fantilli will be a star. Yegor Chinakhov will be a star for them. Ivan Provorov… got way overpaid by them. Holy cow, $8.5M with a no movement clause? Fine I guess. I think they do very well again, but I don’t know if it’s enough to make the playoffs due to how deep the Atlantic is.

I have heard people saying New York won’t implode again. Kreider is gone, Trouba is gone, JT Miller is the new captain. New Sheriff in Town vibes. I don’t trust their defence after Adam Fox. They seem to think Will Borgen is a second pair guy and I just don’t see it.

Philadelphia made some exciting moves. Fired Torts. Traded for Trevor Zegras. Signed Christian Dvorak for $5.4 million which everyone believes is just to dump him at 50% at the deadline for a second round pick. Does anyone actually believe in that defence or goaltending with Vladar? Come on. They know they are bottoming out. A lot riding on Michkov and Zegras building chemistry to become a superstar duo.

New York Islanders drafted an incredible player in Matthew Schaefer. I think he could win the Calder. The rest of the team sucks. Sorry Patrick Roy.

The Pittsburgh Penguins are going to be a total disaster. I think everyone can feel it. Time to trade Malkin and tell Sid to pick a new team for his final years. I had them last in 2024-25. I have them there again.

Atlantic Division

1. Toronto Maple Leafs

2. Tampa Bay Lightning

3. Montreal Canadiens

4. Florida Panthers

5. Ottawa Senators

6. Boston Bruins

7. Buffalo Sabres

8. Detroit Red Wings

So Toronto is losing Mitch Marner, but I actually like the acquisition of Nicholas Roy. I don’t know how Maccelli, Joshua, and a full season of Carlo do individually, but I do believe it’s depth created through the lineup that’s better than one Mitch Marner for them. I think Toronto wins the division. Doesn’t mean they do anything in the playoffs. Auston Matthews wrist gives me pause. Is it ever getting back to it used to be? Or his other health ailments?

Tampa had by far the best goal differential in the Eastern Conference and was only 2nd due to OT losses. They had the same amount of regulation wins as the Leafs. Tampa could take the division if everyone is healthy, and it’ll be interesting to see how they do if Florida never gets healthy themselves.

I got my Montreal Canadiens at three. Three, four, five, don’t matter really. I think there will be five teams again in the Atlantic making it, and I might as well put my Habs on top. Homer bias. Whatever. I love the addition of Zachary Bolduc, love it love it love it, I can’t believe they got him for Mailloux. I think Noah Dobson is a very good addition even if I think he’s an overpriced 2nd pair right defenceman while Lane Hutson is the top pair despite being left handed (to me he’s the new Roman Hamrlik/Jeff Petry despite the price tag) and I think his occasional defensive lapses will drive Montreal Canadiens fans insane. Ivan Demidov will be dominant, and I think this will be an even better season for the top line. I also think Arber Xhekaj will have a better season. Got damn all this good! They are the youngest team in the NHL so if none of this happens and the team falters? It’s to be expected by a young team to have issues with maturity and growing pains. But I’d love to see them take a big step up like this.

Okay, Florida Panthers. I’m glad I held off on this until October 1 because captain Alex Barkov got injured for the season. That means they will be without Barkov and Tkachuk for significant amounts of time. I’m sure they add someone by trade once they have the cap space, but regardless I think they take a little tumble in regular season wins. With back to back Cups they will still be the team to beat, and they kept most of the Cup winning team, but I think it’ll be much harder to win number three. Nobody has since the Islanders in the 80s.

I know there’s a rivalry with Montreal and Ottawa and I’m sure a SNES fan will hate this but trust me. If Ottawa finishes ahead of Montreal again? I won’t be surprised one bit. Ottawa adding Ullmark was amazing and I think he continues to be great for them. I liked the trade for Cozens. Jake Sanderson is a great blueliner. Carter Yakemchuk is a marvel! I like the Senators a lot. 5th isn’t out of the playoffs for me. I’m just kind of punishing you for not beating the Leafs in the playoffs like I hoped. Don’t let me down again!

Boston… when you have David Pastrnak and Jeremy Swayman you shouldn’t be that far down the standings but they finished 8th last year. They absolutely imploded and ended up trading Brad Marchand to Florida at the last second. That -50 goal differential was tied with Pittsburgh as the worst in the East. How are they this bad? Well for one, their defence is awful. Their centre depth is even worse. People keep freaking in Montreal about Kirby Dach as 2C, at least they have a 1C. Boston has been playing Casey Mittelstadt as 2C, Pavel Zacha as a winger, Elias Lindholm has been disappointing, where’s the future of this team? Was it just Swayman? Man. It’s bad. I love it.

Then you got Buffalo and Detroit. I like everyone else am tired of waiting for Buffalo to be great. They have the talent. They just need to get it together.

Detroit? There was a point going into the trade deadline they looked locked into the playoffs. Then they had a disastrous March and couldn’t blame a Dylan Larkin injury this time. The whole team was bad. Trading for Gibson might help but the Detroit goalie carousel will likely still spin. I like some of the youngsters coming up but they got some terrible veteran deals. I don’t expect the likes of Ben Chiarot, Travis Hamonic, and Justin Holl to be replaced by good young players. I expect Steve Yzerman to find new old slow useless players to fill their spots. Maybe Patrick Kane gets traded to Winnipeg at the deadline to reunite with Toews. Can you believe JT Compher makes $5.1 million per year? I mocked the Dvorak signing by Philly but Detroit did that long term! Get in the basement Detroit.

Way Too Early/Stupid Playoff Predictions

Western Conference

(1) Dallas Stars versus (W2) Minnesota Wild
(2) Colorado Avalanche versus (3) Winnipeg Jets

(1) Vegas Golden Knights versus (W1) Calgary Flames
(2) Edmonton Oilers versus (3) Los Angeles Kings

Eastern Conference

(1) Toronto Maple Leafs versus (W2) Florida Panthers
(2) Tampa Bay Lightning versus (3) Montreal Canadiens

(1) Carolina Hurricanes versus (W1) Ottawa Senators
(2) Washington Capitals versus (3) New Jersey Devils

Battle of the North Star!

Edmonton beating up the Kings again!

Toronto versus Florida rematch!

Tampa versus Montreal rematch when Montreal inexplicably got to the Cup final with a dying Carey Price and dead Shea Weber and lost to Tampa!

It’s amazing that I technically got one series correct last year: Tampa versus Florida! Carolina and Washington did play each other but in the second round. Oh so did Vegas and Edmonton. So I guess that’s three kind of. Hey not bad!

As I did last year, I will do a mid-season reflection, end of season reflection, cover each round of the playoffs, and close it up with an off season reflection. Enjoy the ride!

“Youppi!, Montreal Canadiens 3, Ottawa Senators 4, Centre Bell, Montreal, Q” by Ken Lund is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 .