The first time I went to the United States by myself was in 2005. It was to see Nine Inch Nails at Joe Louis Arena.

The last time I went to the United States by myself was in 2025. It was to see Nine Inch Nails at Little Caesars Arena.

If that ends up the last time I ever visit the United States of America? I feel like it’s a pretty nice way to close the book.

It’s frustrating. I wanted to title this something like Goodbye to America but I don’t know. There’s a giant bridge being built not too far from where I live named after Gordie Howe. I’ve been excited to see this bridge built for some time now. Finally, I don’t need a drivers licence and a car to get across. I don’t need to pay a ridiculous amount on a city bus that no longer runs. I can walk or cycle across free of charge.

That bridge was supposed to be already open and now the word is, “sometime in 2026” and I wonder if the stupidity happening is what led to the delay.

I truly looked forward to cleaning up my bicycle and crossing that bridge for the first time, ending out in Mexican Town in Detroit, having some of the best food, and maybe catching a band at El Club before biking back home.

But now? I feel like a fucking asshole for wanting to have fun there.

Nevermind the Bad Time

I already felt a little weird crossing last year when my friend Joel and I went to a couple baseball games in Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, and Cleveland. There was this weird feeling the entire time about how things would there. How people were going to react. How police would be.

The reality is nothing bad happened. Everyone was just… living. It was regular days there. You had Alligator Alcatraz in full effect at that point, first year of the new Trump Administration, and yet everyone is just going on their day. Everyone just wants to forget about the shit and have a good time. I get it. I was there to do the same thing.

It’s just getting worse and worse. It’s impossible to ignore. I now can’t imagine having a good time there. All I’m going to think about is how it’s like visiting Poland in 1940 and enjoying a bite to eat in German occupied territory with concentration camps built but hey that’s nowhere close to the sports and restaurants. I’m just here to have a good time right? Nevermind the bad time.

It’s hard to nevermind the bad time now.

Now when a friend of mine tries to invite me to go party in Detroit and I think about it? I just can’t do it. I have legitimate reasons beyond my emotional feelings (I don’t have a family and yet I’m still flat broke after Christmas) but it’s hard to actually say to your friend, “No I don’t want to go dancing in Detroit because America is fucked.”

Not Better, Just Late

The RCMP literally exist to kill the indigenous and secure colonization. They were patterned after the Texas Rangers who did the same. Canadians should never act superior. We're not better. We're just late.

— Aaron – GrapPro.com (@aaron.wrotkowski.ca) 2026-01-21T19:17:11.737Z

I hope Americans don’t read this thinking I’m trying to talk from a high horse. I’m not. I don’t really buy into Canadian superiority and never have.

The Canadian government sure talks tough with the Trump administration while investing in the same stupid AI bullshit and deportations. Carney accepted that peace council invite before it was taken away. Canadians abandoned the NDP and other parties to push their votes into the Liberal Party of Canada and keep out the Conservative Party of Canada in hopes it would fight Trump instead of suck up to him. They got that, but they still got a conservative party in the federal government. A lot of the work Justin Trudeau’s Liberals did to make the party more inclusive and providing seats to women has been erased. From pipelines to service cuts, this is absolutely a conservative government. It’s just not the official one.

Canadians can sleep easy knowing they are building the armoured vehicles for ICE to drive down your streets to the delight of the Ontario premier. Oh, and your Canadian pensions? That invested in the same AI that Elon Musk is using to generate sexual harassment.

More and more Canadians are becoming Trump supporters who want the United States of America to conquer the country and make it the 51st state, because that’s their only solution to losing multiple federal elections. They are cowards, failures, and most importantly traitors. Does our country treat them like traitors? No. It’ll become a problem someday, and when it does? All of the snobbish Canadians wagging a finger at Americans for not doing enough with their own problems will do nothing with these problems.

No, Canada is not in the empire fall that the United States is in, but that’s because we move just a little slower than them. Less people, larger country.

We’re not better. We’re just late.

With a broken NDP and a two party system which always abandons the Liberals after some time, the time will come when the Conservative Party of Canada will once again take power. And when they do? They’ll see all of the slashing and burning Carney’s Liberals put the country through, and loudly proclaim he didn’t do enough. And they will do more. And then, after all of the posturing and cockiness, if there’s still an America to hand to Canada? They will hand it over.

Unless we fucking wise up.

Tell Me Exactly

I saw a wrestling fan scolded because he was bothered by the executions handed out by ICE to American civilians and didn’t know what to do but live his life.

He’s not wrong. It’s pretty difficult to figure out what to do. Current society is all about burning us out. Overstimulating on technology and entertainment coupled with treadmill jobs and a dollar that provides less and less groceries. Billionaires profited off of the pandemic that kept us stuck at home and continue to hoard wealth like dragons on gold.

Unless you’re ready to risk your life and slay a dragon? You don’t have too many options.

Some people march. Some people volunteer. Other people just try to raise their children to maintain their humanity. As much as they can.

Much like when I wrote The Cataclysm I have no interest in trying to provide you with solutions. I don’t know the solutions. If I knew them? I certainly don’t have the power to implement them, or get enough people to listen to me to carry it on. Fred Rogers once said look for the helpers. That’s maybe the only advice I can provide. Look for the helpers, and if you can? Become one.

I live in the auto capital of Canada and I was against bailing the automotive industry out, much like I was against the U.S. government bailing out the banks. And I’ll be against bailing out the AI companies, or anyone who loses in the future for implementing AI and it leading to losses. I’ve already been called a bad person multiple times for not caring about people losing their jobs if it means evil careless people lose their billion dollar businesses.

That’s why I have no solid solutions. I can’t tell Americans what to do. It’s not my country, no matter how close I am to it. When this comes to Canada, and it will (the convoy will return and we all know it, with Trump ally backing), there will be people looking at me for what I’m ready to do. I almost went out to fight the people blocking the Ambassador bridge. Almost. I still didn’t.

The internet is full of people who love to talk big shit and do nothing. I’m no different. So I appreciate someone admitting they don’t know what to do.

Farewell for Now America

So back to the original point.

I don’t know when I’m returning to the United States of America.

I have lots of friends there and people who mean a lot to me. I want them to be safe and happy.

I don’t look down on people who will go. They are choosing to live their lives. I was right with them months ago feeling like when I go? It’s not for the Trump Administration. It’s for the people trying to get by day by day running restaurants and holding live events.

I really wish our government would think about all of the Canadians living near the American border, needing new things to do, and consider subsidizing our methods of travel to vacation and explore more of Canada over going to the states. Right now it’ll cost me $600 to round trip fly to Montreal. Cut that half in price and I’d do it this spring. I want to see Atlantic Canada. I want to go back to British Columbia. I want to do this stuff without having to spend all year saving up for it on a single income for a single weekend trip.

There’s an empire ready to burn, our country might catch fire in the process, and all I can think about is how I can live my life with a little more enjoyment. I already can’t move the way I used to. Not going to be much help fighting when it hurts to stand in one spot for a half hour.

There’s a lot of the United States I’d love to still see. I’d love to see more of California. I’d love to return to New Orleans. I’d love to see New England. I’d love to camp in upper mitten of Michigan. How things are going? I doubt it ever happens. I’m glad I took a lot of photos on my other trips. Maybe the good guys win for once and I can cross again without guilt.

One more thing. When my grandparents came to Canada after the war, and moved to Chatham, they ended up recognizing a police officer in town. It just so happened to be a former Nazi officer who escaped and came to Canada. He’s now buried not too far from my grandmother, which means he got to live his life like a regular person. Please don’t let anyone who worked for ICE do the same.

Photo from my trip through Point Pleasant, West Virginia